Escaping

Felt sure that I was dying
And no, I did not care
As I was over killing
The numbness and despair

I tried so hard to prove
To all, I was okay
But no, I could not move
The thoughts to pass away

My heart was beating slowly
And I was fading fast
I did not want to stop
I wanted it to last

I felt alive with pain
And challenged to be strong
My heart not set to where
I wanted to belong

Surrounding me- confusion
Why did I feel this way?
What was it that was wrong?
I was in disarray

Self harm became my saviour
Allowing me to see
That all death brings is reason
For others to want free

My life is healing slowly
Piece by piece, restored
One day maybe Ill realise
What all of this stood for