Another sad one with alot of feeling. I liked the way you spoke of two opposites ( fav. example:The pain itself just keeps me happy
as my mended heart is broke).
The only thing I'm unsure of is the last verse, the rhythm seemed a little bit off as I read it. -perhaps it was the way I was reading it? -
Fear itself consumes me
as my bravery takes control
my tears poor out along with my blood
they roll down to the floor.
The third sentence seemed a little bit too long. Maybe just saying 'My tears pour out along with blood' ... or 'along my blood'.. either way it means the same thing, just with one less syllable; however, feel free to disregard this as you seem much more experienced than I am. Keep up the good work!