Nightmare

I watched as your eyes sparkled in glee,
You know not how you have broken me,
With a careless attitude to follow the trend,
You tell me you'll start what I wish to end.

My feelings are shattered I cannot react,
But then I wake up, flat on my back.
All just a dream, a nightmare more like,
I can't shake the fear as I saw your delight.

My dear, don't you know? This curse is not "cool",
Don't start to cut; I know you're no fool,
I did not know what I'd begun back then,
But in stopping you, can I make amends?

Do not follow me on this broken path,
For it is hard to find the way back,
You don't have reasons to do as I did,
Rebellion, fashion, what nonsense is this?

I never knew others found the same means as I,
To cope with this life when they'd rather die,
If an angel had warned me as I picked up that knife...
Oh, how they would have saved me this strife!

And so now I ask you, do this for me,
Let me be your angel, let me set you free,
Before you are trapped in this web of red pain,
Forget you have said this, don't think it again.

You don't know the trouble I'm saving you from,
Long sleeves and armbands aren't fun for long,
But attention is perhaps what you wanted?
If they knew about me...the thought leaves me haunted.

I don't cut for fashion, or to get sympathy,
I couldn't cope, don't turn out like me,
I was messed up, and I never knew,
The meaning of self-harm, but you do.

There is no good reason for this destructive tendancy,
It's wrong and I know it, don't think I can't see,
Nothing could condone this punishment of pain,
Destroying one's body is a crime without gain.

I can't comprehend why you'd want to start,
When you've got everything, life's a walk in the park,
Being a rebel or doing the in thing,
Is no excuse to try self-harming.

My only regret is not telling you about me,
This is my own, private coping strategy,
But if you'd found out would you copy anyway?
I cannot answer, but the question won't go away.

I know it's not real, this dilemma I face,
But I cannot sleep for fear of seeing your face,
Talking so lightly of my worst private vice,
I see now my silence came with a price.

*I know the flow and wording is a little weird but it's really just a first draft. It's about a dream I had, in which my sister told me she was going to cut herself because she had heard it was "cool". If there's anyone out there who knows about cutting and has considered it, for whatever reason, I urge you not to. I didn't find out what self-harm was until it was too late, but you can make an informed choice, you know how it ruins lives, please don't hurt yourself.*