I don't fit in here,
or pretty much anywhere.
All I want is to be loved
and wanted.
Not hated and yelled at.
I just want to be appreciated
and loved.
I don't think thats so much to ask
but maybe it is.
Everything I do and say
always seems to be wrong.
Nothing ever pleases them.
They make me want to die
or at least run away.
Run away
and never come back.
Forget everything
the good and the bad.
Just forget my life.
I wish I could,
with all my might
but it wont happen.
It would end up
like it always does.
Them hating me more
and more yelling
and worst of all
more fighting.
Like I haven't had enough of that in my life already.
Its how I've grown up
in front of fighting and yelling.
Shouts and cries.
But now as I look at it,
It was never them crying
it was me.
The one the fighting effected the most.
The one the divorce
hurt the most.
The one that they took out there anger on.
Their the reason
I'm so messed up.
Its their fault I cry myself to sleep
and their fault why I'm so shy.
Its their fault I'm so insecure
and scared and angry.
They know it
but they wont accept it.
Instead they act childish
and blame it on each other.
On me.
People tell me
there is help outside of these walls
but I know there isn't.
I'm stuck
and alone more than ever
in this big world.
I wish it wasn't so
but I've already figured out
theres no point in wishing.
They never come true.
