I am my own

I couldn't tell you the feelings i have.
those feelings I've had for years that I've kept inside.
i don't even know them myself.
maybe that is why I'm so unsure.
i cant be always upright honest,
i slip up and i fall, does that make me a loser?
your expectations of me sound like demands from on high.
i have no way of following your code of honor.
i know you are trying to push me to your reason.
but i don't know my place right know.
your trying to make me up in your reality.
and i cant even face myself right now.
please, no offense meant by these remarks, you say.
but i know you have your patronizing ways.
so i don't even try to explain myself to you anymore.
cause I'm fighting a loosing battle,
I'm knocking on a solid door.
i know i need guidance,
but i cant listen to you.
your words are so harsh, and you speak them so crude.
i cant hide my anger anymore.
i will be my own person,
i will no longer be under your control.
i will speak for myself,
i will do for myself,
i will think for myself,
i will act for myself.
i will learn the hard way,
even if i have to,
whatever way is the way i choose....
i know that my God will pull me through.