When the sun sets

Heavy eyes with no sign of weight.
Heart burns yet I hide my hate.
Clenched fists that I don't show
Flowing tears I wont let go
Angry words I'll never say
Images I've put away.

When the sun sets and the sky is black
That's when I let it all come back.
I can't keep holding all this stress
It's making so uncontrollably depressed
I know that I can never change the past
But child abuse should never last

I want to go back to before all this hurting
When I had fun with guys, enjoyed the flirting
But now I cant take it, it's all to much.
Sometimes I cry when he tries to touch
My boyfriend loves me but he cant see
Child abuse is just starting to effect me

But I'll carry on hiding it away from you
It's already hurting one, why hurt two.
He shouldn't haves to see my acheing pain
So I'll try so hard to act the same
Giving him all the things he longs for
While my heart dies, I cant take any more.