Everything I do

I know this is rubbish, just feeling like I needed to write.
please rate and/or comment. thank you x

I self harm almost every day
But not in a standard text-book way
I torture myself in my own brain
Mind to f'd up to thing straight
Pulling my own confidence to shreds
Still thinking I'd be better off dead
I don't cut anymore & I don't cry
It wasn't easy, but you made me try
And I won't throw up the disgusting food I eat
I'll smile for you all, don't I look sweet.
I won't push you away when we get close
I don't try anymore to over-dose
I'd never tell you I'm scared to sleep alone
I try to sound happy over the phone
When we talk and I let my cover drop
Why do you get mad? Tell me to stop
I can stop telling you how I really feel
But don't expect my front to be real
I'll just bury myself away from you
So you will never know I self harm in everything I do.