What You Missed

There's a fresh hunger in my soul
That I get every time we're kissing
My body is paralyzed and stiff
And my stomach won't stop twisting

I'm writhing deep inside myself
As my breaths are loud and hollow
My heart is beating wildly
And my words are hard to swallow

I know that you can hear my heart
Your eyes close to a tranquil sleeping
Your touch makes my knees go weak
And through my eyes, tears are seeping.

Your words still haven't hit me yet.
They're just a mumble through your lips
It's like a different language, I try.
But all I feel is the brush of your fingertips

It's like you weren't yourself anymore
And your words were picked with care
You said goodbye, its just too hard,
And your heart was never there.

But I'm beginning to understand you
I can see you're torn apart
By the words that you don't mean
Yet you spoke them from the heart.

You're convinced that just by leaving,
I'll be safe from all the pain you hide
Yet the truth is that I can't function.
I'm nothing without you by my side.

A grueling pain is in your voice,
And your touch is reluctantly receding...
I wonder if you can hear my heart now
As it's carelessly ripped and bleeding.

I'm drowning now within myself
My blood and tears run dry
I should've known you'd hurt me so,
As you walk away to cry.

I could've screamed to the darkness
Should've chased you through the night.
And like a person ready for suicide,
You believe someday I'll be alright.

But you don't seem to understand
How many salty tears I've tasted,
How many slits I made because of you,
Or how many days and nights I've wasted.

The look in your eyes is haunting
And your voice is still the same
They're branded inside my memory
And I'm screaming out your name.

When nights are cold and rainy,
And I cling to myself so tight,
I see your face in the shadows
And then you turn into the night.

You never answer me when I'm screaming
You're just there inside my life.
You're never there when I call
But you're there as I use the knife.

Through dreams I manage to save
I imagine the gentleness of your touch.
I dream of your kisses, then wake up screaming
Because the memories hurt too much.

And so I write this so that you know
If you're feeling the same regret
I hope you drown in all your memories
And get lost in your silhouette.

I hope you never feel true love again
Never kiss a girl the way we kissed
I pray you still remember me, too
And realize now just what you missed.

Now every time I see your face
A single tear rolls down my cheek
I say your name once to chase you away
As my knees suddenly grow weak.

You look at me dead in the eyes
And I'm looking at you back,
I'm squeezing the knife in my hands
And like always, you fade to black.

-Sorry it's not that great. I know it isn't, I just was feeling so sympathetic toward heartbreak and I just couldn't resist writing ANOTHER poem about it. Sorry if my creativity is fading!!-