Mistakes & Memories

by Tammie   Jun 28, 2006


Trying to find hope
To keep her strong
To get her through the hard times
When each day seems so long

Every smile and every laugh
Gets harder and harder to fake
Every moment of every day
Her mind is taunted by the mistake

All the tears that have ever fallen
Represent a way
That she could have done things differently
On the fateful day

The memories are all regrets
The words were all lies
Now all she ever wishes
Is that someday soon she dies

Remembering all the happy times
Now overshadowed by the bad
Those days of smiles and happiness
Have turned to nothing but sad

One mistake can ruin a life
But life is nothing with out risks
So maybe it was worth it
Her mind full of thoughts whisks

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by MyDevotion

    8th poem! =) but personally its not because of the forum just that i really love your work! the 4 line thing is kinda what i prefer also =) i love it! 5/5!

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I think the flow wasn't perfect but good, it made sense and i overall enjoyed the poem.
    it was sad and the emotions were visable.
    keep writing
    love Tara-Kay
    xxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by ShhhhItsASecret©

    "Her mind is taunted by the mistake"

    ~ For some odd reason, I don't feel that "the" fits correctly with that line... maybe "her" or something would flow a bit better.

    Other than that, the poem was quite flawless. I really felt the emotion put into this poem. You have a great talent with words. Keep writing. You have great potential. 4.7/5

    ~BJ~

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    Her mind is taunted by the mistake

    [I think you might have meant "haunted" ..I could be wrong.]

    Very sad poem though. I've been in this situation so I can relate alot. I hope this wasn't based on anything about you..

    Your flow and rhyming were great. & I really liked how much effort you've put into the emotions. You described them great. Keep it up.

    Natalie``

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    Again, your rhymes were very good. The flow in this one was a bit broken but you managed to pull it through to the end. A very sad poem with a lot of emotion. Suicide is something that I'm sure, most people have been confronted with. Whether it be first hand knowing someone, or contemplating it on their own. Well written topic.

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