Simple Creation

by Natalie   Jul 26, 2006


Life's simple creation--
Awaiting for the precious birth.
With endless protection--
When all is welcomed here on earth.

Inhaling happiness--
Taken from the fumes in the air.
Escaping the darkness--
With constant sheltering and care.

Unwanted memories--
Blown through winds without a trace.
Contagious summer breeze--
Caught a new smile upon her face.

Like flowers blossoming--
New scents of life's beauty exists.
Birds and bees are humming--
Sunshine erasing all mist.

Life's simple creation--
Held in a loving mothers arms.
With endless protection--
From the world and all it's harms.

July 26th 2006
Copyright © Natalie

_I wrote this about my older sister, who just recently got the news that she is pregnant now for the second time. I'm not too sure if this is any good or not, it's quite different to most of the things I write. I'd love some feedback. Thanks!

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    The full circle aspect of the first and last stanza is something I do myself on occasion, I find it can help to complete a poem and it's nice to see that someone else does too.

    This is exactly the kind of poem that leaves you feeling content!

    The format is nice and easy to follow and the stanzas are not too many and have good proportion.

    If anything you could have removed any one from the middle three stanzas and perhaps have a better outcome simply because sometimes less is more.

  • 17 years ago

    by Biscuit

    I like the use of the 'birds and bees', very clever as it is subtle yet obvious when you know what the poem is about! the imagery here is very beautiful and delicate.

    -biscuit-

  • 17 years ago

    by Biscuit

    I like the use of the 'birds and bees', very clever as it is subtle yet obvious when you know what the poem is about! the imagery here is very beautiful and delicate.

    -biscuit-

  • 17 years ago

    by ღ»Lσιѕ«ღ

    Hey Nat, first of all thanks for entering my contest you did a terrific job, sorry it has taken so long to get comments out i was on vacation!!! Neways this poem was really good its nice to see that you have such a strong bond with your sister as said before!! Thats cool that you get to be an aunt i want to be an aunt!!! ha ha!!! Anyways flow and rhyme terrific another great write!!! 5/5!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by sarahjayne

    This is a great poem. and congrats to ur older sis xx

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