Walking before dawn

Pain keeps me from my sleep
i get up befor the sun does
i get dressed
i go out with my dog down to the highway
i listen to the radio and hear all that going on in the world
i get home i take a hot shower even if im hot to make my blood flow
i cut to keep me from going insane
love keeps me here
but pain drives me away
i cry as i watch the blade run across my wrist
so many scars so much hurt not
from cutting but from my health
i feel as tho i could scream and no one would give a care but deep in me i know beter then that i see so many tears
death i want but i want so much more too
pain free i have given up on
but it is life right?
is there pain in death ?