You

by Nelle   Aug 13, 2006


I need you now like I needed you then
I want you more then I ever did
I'll kiss you for hours and never look up
I'll be here for you through all of your falls

Come back to me and you will see
Me and you are meant to be
I love you for you and only you
I'll be brave and stay true

Walk with me through this dark of night
Help me keep up this terrible fight
Be brave and stand your ground
Keep my hand in yours, and never put it down.

( ok i haven't wrote in like 4 days and this isn't my best but my writing is just turning into slop =/ so honest opinions would be great)

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    Nelle--- This was really good! Your rhymes were great in this piece, I adorded them so much! There's nothing I'd change either, I just love it! And Ily.2 5/5

    Natalie``

  • 17 years ago

    by Sarah Ann

    I thought this was good. Although more emotion and emphasis could have been put into your words, my honest critique is that it is still a good poem, and not horrible. The middle stanza flows well, but towards the end the poem just flops. It's not slop though! Good write. 4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awww.. that was really sweet.. ignore the votes hunny, this was great! the descriptions and emotion were beautiful.. and the flow worked well.. nice job! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    This could use a little work hun although it is more than a 3. The middle stanza flows really well and as it is the only one to rhyme makes the whole thing a bit wonky.
    The vocab is sweet if a little trite and the theme has a nice feel. I wouldn't say it is slop but it could be improved.
    4/5

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