Kept in Place

Once again I can't sleep

Choices are chasing around my head

Memories and Voices

Repeat over and over, and over again

Why am I not changing?

For years and years I'm kept up at night

Pondering these choices

Questioning if they were easier or right

Feeling like a fickle shell

Of a girl who had so much to give

Occasionally there are days

Where I'm sure it's a future I could live

For an hour, or a day even

But never for days at a time

Then suddenly reality's shifted

And taken with it, my balanced state of mind

So I plan for the future I dreamt of

Where mistakes are forgiven and lost

But the route to get there is booby trapped

Lacking the strength to pay the high cost

Tomorrow I may not feel like this

But it's always at the back of my mind

Knowing your only a step from the hell

You created, your own perfect kind

Like living with a broken bone

That never really set right

One hard movement, one wrong step

And you're struggling to move on with your life

Locked behind bars, I'm a prisoner

In a cycle of fear and demand

Holding on by the fingertips

Kept in place, by nails through each hand.