A Reckless Attempt

Had I known I wouldn't succeed
Never would I have fell
I toppled over 3 flights of stairs,
The pain put me in hell

I remember vaguely at the top
I wanted life to end
So happily I chuckled
At the way my life was spent

What a waste of many breaths
Misuse of God's good talent
I was searching for my own escape
And there right then I found it

I remember mother screaming
I was...ready to leave
At the top I screamed in anger,
I cried my tears and grieved

Nobody understood me
And I felt so ashamed
Lives were on the line again
And guess who was to blame...

I remember then I heaved a sigh,
Looked down at the long flight
Suddenly I dreamed it was a cliff
Jumped down; I knew I might...

I spread my arms in stupor
Tip toed, till balance failed me,
Begged God to let me die there,
To let my soul release free.

I remember how hard I fell
On each step, my body twirled
I felt limp, and numb, and broken
Yet, happy to leave this world

Oh, how sure I was that maybe
I would crack my neck or head
And disappointment filled my heart and soul
When I lay there, still not dead

Blood gushed out of more places
The scent made me feel nauseous
Everyone came running down
They thought I wasn't cautious

Filthy, hypocrite hands touched me
Each one panicked, but I smiled
My moment of pain I realized
Was really worth its while

For finally, I recall now,
People had felt they cared
No longer was I invisible,
They were happy I was there

I remember...how I screamed
From pain, agony and remorse
I contemplated suicide
And it was evident I lost

Hence here I am, still sitting
Planning my next escape
This one was my first attempt,
The next one...would be great.

=/