Desire of Death

Who knew what lay inside,
Of that pretty face,
those sparkling brown eyes.
Thoughts of suicide,
And an end to all her pain and stupidity.

She thought she was worthless,
And forever will.
She could never do anything right.
Always ignoring the rules,
And going behind people's backs.
Messing up the world,
Causing a burden unneeded.

Nothing she ever did was going to make a positive difference,
She had absolutely nothing going for her.
Everyday she'd dream of leaving the world behind,
Picturing the much happier people.
Sometimes thinking,
"I wish I never existed,
So all the pain I have ever caused would never affect anyone,
Especially the ones I love."

But every time she came close,
Close to pulling out a sharp object,
Or standing in the middle of the street.

She stops and chickens out.
She's reminded of why she's living,
For those people that told her they loved her,
And want her to be there,
Those who look up to her.

That pretty face,
Shedding painful tears,
Not dieing on the outside,
But slowly disappearing on the inside.
Her soul,
Deteriorating from all the pain she's tried to endure,
With no one she can lean on in times of need.
But plenty saying they'll always be there for her.
Yet she knows they'll never clearly understand how she feels.
The feeling,
the desire of death.