No More Candy Canes

Are you happy
now that you finally let go?
Now that you feel life's not on hold?
And I just sit here on the sidelines
watching and taking a drag
consumed with regret
can't run away
from it
can't close my eyes
to it
can't turn my head
from it
so I watch with eyes wide-
body feels like lead
slowly the tears come
take another drag
I try to relax
so people don't figure out I'm a manic
forgot how good one of these feels.
No more candy canes
I gave those up..
They don't work anymore..
can't stop the need of these blasted things
but I love them so much
just like-
never mind
oh well, forget it
as I'm sitting on the sidelines
taking a drag
and watching you live on.