Vacant web

I remember feeling something
Anything.
I remember when it all stopped.
Everything.

And I remember the notes I wrote.
I left them on my dresser.
Told myself this time I would choke.
This time I'd do it better.

But it's an idle threat
Cuz it never seems to work.
No matter how many times I check,
My hearts still beating,
And I can't seem to stop it.

A fly stuck in a vacant web.
No getting away
But no easy end.
Cuz the spider died yesterday.

I tried so many times
But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Or at least it might if only,
It didn't make the pain last longer.