So tired

by arietty   Dec 29, 2006


Im so tired
Tired of all the nightmares
Rushing through my head
Tired of always lying there,
Alone on my bed
Tired of being the one
Who always takes the blow
Tired of being the one
That always has to go
Tired of apologising
For who is really me
Tired of the people
Never bothering to see

I'm wishing you were here,
Wishing you could see
Wishing you could help
With this lonely mess that's me

Is this really living?
Is this really life?
Should I even contemplate
Picking up this knife?

This is being tired
Truly and whole
Tired of life,
The great gaping hole

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by mistressxsork

    The emotion on this one was great. I loved the first part.. it held so much depth. It was very powerful and heartfelt. Nicely done!! =) 4.5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Lady Vengeance

    Very powerful. i felt u really showed ur feelings and displayed a very good knowledge of what works in a poem. it's to be commended. great poem :) 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Fantastic.
    =] I really liked the first stanza, mostly because I can relate a lot to everything you said. The imagery was amazing, flow was great, and overall there was really nothing that was wrong. Great job hun! Keep it up. 5/5

    Stephanie.

  • 18 years ago

    by twisted reality

    The bad:
    ------------------------------------
    [Truly and (whole)]
    &
    [The great gaping {hole}]
    Correction: (Whole) and {hole} sound the same. I know they're not the same words, but try mixing it up a bit. It sounds as if you're just looking for something to rhyme it with.

    The whole first stanza is lacking in pronunciation. It makes it difficult to read, because it looks like one run on sentence. Try putting semi-colans or periods or commas in here and there where you might want to break it up a bit. By doing this, it would make it more legible to everyone, and therefore, voters would be happier with the outcome.

    The rhymes you used didn't seem forced or anything, but they did seem cliche. You need to mix them up a bit so we'll have something to look at other than little words that rhyme with other small words.

    The good:
    --------------------------------
    I liked the repetition. It made me think that you really wanted to get your point across. And you did so. Very well in fact. Repetition is one of the very good things in poetry. It really tells the reader that you're trying to get your idea, or a thought across their minds.

    The depth you put into this was incredible. I give you props for that. I really liked how you just let your emotions out, and didn't care what we thought. Well done. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 18 years ago

    by lost in lovee

    Omg i LOVE it! i can so relate to it! dnt ever cut urself over any stupid shit trust me it aint worth all da scars, i kno

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