You Are Not Me,[So You Don't Know How It Feels]

I've been waiting, and lying to myself, for a long time.
Thinking it would get better.
But never trying to change.
Living for your sake and never mine.
But i can't just hide.
I have to survive.
Acting as if I don't care if i live or die.
When I'm two people inside.
You don't know what it's like when you have to divide.
I have to change for the people I'm with.
I have to feign just to fit in.
With my own family and friends.
The amount of pain i feel is so deep.
I can't let people in.
When i don't like who I am.
You can't understand.
Until you are in my place.
Until you cry my tears and bleed my blood.
I don't love all of me.
No one does.

Shanik Brooks
January, 2, 2007