Thirty Cuts

One for not being beautiful,
Two for not being perfect,
three for not being able to satisfy him,
four for love,
five for all these tears,
six for all the people who put me down,
seven for all the manipulation he put her through,
eight for not being a great friend,
nine for all my sins yet to come,
& ten for the love I wanted, but could never give back.

Eleven for all the times he hit her,
twelve for all the means I said,
thirteen for all the lies I heard,
fourteen for all the pain everyone goes through,
fifteen not being the little girl mommy always wanted,
sixteen for not being smart enough,
seventeen for not being as thin as those models,
eighteen for not having the right smile,
nineteen for all that I put you through,
& twenty for never saving her from him.

Twenty-one for not believing every word you said,
twenty-two for not loving you enough,
twenty-three for not having a great voice,
twenty-four for not smiling enough,
twenty-five for not being happy enough,
twenty-six for suffering from depression,
twenty-seven from puking back up my food,
twenty-eight for not saying yes to him,
twenty-nine for every sin I've missed,
& thirty I'm death.