Desired love

I can understand the writing from the "heart" but this does not often make for the best poetry.
I would be sure the word "I" is capitalized.
I would check all my spelling/punctuation..."you'll"
The thing that seperates poetry from rhyming prose is the metre/rhythm which is to me in need of some work. Poetry needs to flow continually.

Awww... this is really sweet! i love your wording and it flows really well!! great job! 5/5

Forever*Yours

The style was a new one for me, and i liked it a lot. The rhymes were awesome. And you obviously feel pretty strongly about this person. Great poem & keep writing.
-Parker

Really got flow and so beatifully written,keep it up,5/5

Mm. that reminded me of people i love dearly.

well anyway, that was really nice. keep up the great work.