Secret Life

by BlueEyedMystery   Mar 18, 2007


Walking around,
Tears in my eyes,
I've been destroyed,
By all your lies.

You see my pain,
Walk on by,
You don't help,
You don't even try.

You don't know,
What I do at night,
I'm out of control,
But I'm holding on tight.

I have a secret life,
Only a few know,
You don't realize,
I'm putting on a show.

People love me,
But they aren't here,
Losing them,
Is my biggest fear.

I hate what you do,
But I'll never tell,
I don't want a part,
In your secret hell.

I'll stay here,
Venting my pain,
In these poems,
Hooked to this chain.

There'll come a day,
When I'll break free,
I'll become a person,
I want to be.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by robin milford

    Amazing beautiful excellent

  • 16 years ago

    by Alvaro

    The flow flawless... beautifull written amazing.. your an awesome poet! you know that? haha i love it thank you for writing it. the simple words leave me in shock 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Mike Wilburn

    Talented and expressive, enjoyable to read.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nelle

    I can relate to this one a lot. The word usage you used said a lot. You could feel the energy coming from within. It was expressed very well, I just loved it. The flow seemed a little rocky in some areas, but other than that it was amazing. Great great job.

  • 16 years ago

    by Normal is the Watchword

    First I did like this poem's flow, and the word choice was simple but strong. I do think though, and this is a big thing for people who want to write more than narrative poems so if you want to stick to narrative you can ignore this, that you are only telling us one side of the story. Just what is this secret hell? How did this person get involved in it and what is being done to them to make them this way? I have been offering this advice to some people, you can take it if you want or ignore it.

    IMagine poetry as though it was a song. Most songs, must tell a story, and doesn't poetry tell something among the words? First, with a song, as with a poem, you set the stage, take for example Kelly Clarkson's , "Because of you. She first explains how she feels with the lines, "Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk, because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt, because of you I FIND IT HARD TO TRUST NOT ONLY ME BUT EVERYONE AROUND ME, because of you I am afraid." Notice the part I put all in caps. This one line is later explained why she finds it hard to trust in the following lines, "I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me." She explains how having to be there for people too much too young has altered her way of trusting everyone.

    Now take Evanescence and their song, "My Imortal." Singer Amy Lee starts her story in a way with, "If you would just leave, I wish that you would just leave, cuz YOUR PRESENCE STILL LINGERS HERE, and it won't leave me alone." Now exactly why does this unknown presence linger? Because she follows it up with, "When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears, when you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears, I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have, all of me."

    I hope you understand what it is I am trying ot say about giving more than one side and balancing out the writing process.

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