Amazing Grace.

by Teria   Apr 11, 2007


The fear within her eyes,
shallow as can be.
The blood upon her skin,
blotted for eternity.
The space engaged within,
that's how it will always be.

The bruises on his arms,
show something unknown.
The crackling in his voice,
is chilling to the bone.
The look glued upon his face,
proves that he's alone.

The pain within their lives,
is something we can't feel.
The hope that they have lost;
I wish it was not real.
The world upon their shoulders,
hides what needs to reveal.

'Amazing Grace,
How sweet the sound.'
These foster kids
are heaven bound..
Just after the trusted
beat them around.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by tyanna

    I thought it was wonderfully written and the flow was great too!!!! My mom use to sing Amazing Grace to me when I was young...and she still cared about me... I never knew what it meant..back then...but it always made me smile.

  • 18 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Hm. Interesting.
    It was badly written, but the flow wasn't perfect.

    I loved the "moral" of this story, or maybe I should say "point." Very sweet and simple.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 5.5

  • 18 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    i really enjoyed reading this poem. I loved the rhymeing, it didnt seem forced or cliche and really helped the flow and rhythem of the poem. So youve mastered the rhyming technique excellently in this poem! :) Anywyas i really liked the vocabulary youve used, it has great discription and kept me wanting tyo read more. I really loved the flow, it was flawless. One thing that threw me off was your punctuation... i htought you should of used mroe of it. But other then that its a good read! Keep it up! xx

  • 18 years ago

    by isabel

    Very sad, but wonderfully written...

    *isabel*

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