Not a poem...but really heartfelt

I hate this life that i live, crimson tears fall...but death never comes. the razor cuts, but never deep enough. i never cry.

i hold the rag to my shaking hand. i wipe away the blood. it stings so i close my eyes, basking in the pain.

it's a drug and im addicted. it's something that no one understands. i need it to survive. some people think that it's for attention...if it was, then why would i hide the marks?

you always say to call, but i'm afraid of what you'll say. i'm not a bad person, truly im not...im just a lost teen in this crazy world of madness. everything is messing up and it's all my fault. i'm such a screw up. i make you hurt and it hurts me. all i want is for you to be proud of me. learn to love who i am and this horrible person i have become.

i cant change. i've tried, but i cant. i always run back. even if nothing happens for a year, it's still a part of me.
i am it and it is me...we are one. it describes me perfectly and wonderfully. i am so emotional. emo describes it all.

everything is dark and cold. my life is being broken. i'm someone that i dont even know anymore. my tears fall in a way that helps me. as i cut my wrists my mouth curves into a smile. i love the pain. i know that it is one thing that can help me make it through. it hurts...so it helps.

the cuts were never this deep and the pain was never so immense. but i like it. emotional pain doesnt hurt when it is all you have ever felt. so i continue to hurt my physical body to feel something. when i do...i realize that i am still human and that i still do feel. i like to feel something considering that i am numb to almost everything else. why are you doing this i ask myself...if i only knew...i wish i knew.