You that caused the fall...(for my mom)

My world is spinning,
its turning upside down.
i dont know how to fix it,
so i sit here, not making a sound.

if i move in the slightest.
if i make a single noise,
the world will find me,
and break me like a toy.

it will crush my hopes,
end all of my dreams.
mess up my life,
mess up everything.

i'm scared to death.
i dont know what to do.
so i grab that blade,
just like a fool.

i slice up my wrist,
in an attempt to lose it all.
i hate the world,
i wish it would fall.

i grab that rag,
wipe away the blood.
the tears that rolled out,
in that red rushing flood.

i pick up the blade,
cleaning it off.
putting it away,
to hide it from mom.

she knows that i do it.
she doesnt know how bad.
shes oblivious to the world.
she thinks im just sad.

sad because of C____
mad because of dad.
hurt because of boys.
so she pats me on the hand.

she says this too will pass.
in an attempt to cheer me up.
no it wont,
wait til i get hurt bad enough.

one day ill get mad.
and ill end it all.
maybe then ull realize,
its you that caused the fall.