As I Fall

I can't break an expression
My face is just to stiff (to warn)
From all the tears that have fallen
A state of complete loneliness frames my features

I wonder,
As I lay here
With mascara down my cheeks
And with the faint smell of salt stuck in my nose,
What I would have become
If I were someone,
Someone that mattered (just someone else)

Would I have been pretty?
Blond hair, red puffy lips?
Popular? Goofy?

I would make others proud (they would smile at me)

Instead I'm here,
I'm probably cold
But don't think I could move (even if I tried)
Forever frozen in this state...

(God) What I want this to just...
End

All that could have been,
All that I could have been
Will never happen...

And I am scared (so scared to lose)

I'm crying now (again)
But these are only the vestiges of the fear (left behind)
And the drops have nowhere else to fall,
But down my face...