Wake Up Older

I like the title and idea you chose for this poem. I also like the rhyming words you used, they were very colourful and sophisticated. Sure, the flow was off in some spots, but you created a perfect image of a dying woman, Great work.

"A cough leaves the woman exhausted,= "A cough leaves the woman(,) exhausted,

will be no use her= will OF no use TO her

brink's bend. = This should be the title, which make these words more meaningful, rather than how they seem to be randomly placed in this context

all of others = all THE others

For the woman will never wake up older. = well, now try not to state the obvious in the last line unless you are writing a funny poem.

This poem does deserve to be hated, but it also doesn't deserve to be hated at the same time. I did not like your big words that were just randomly thrown in there, and your title wasn't very attractive. It seems as if you tried to make this poem work, but you just couldn't.... In poems like these, you need to get the reader more in touch with who the main character is so that the reader becomes attatched and therefore her death has an effect on the reader.

I'm surprised at how well your punctuation was, and you did do a good job.

Well done =]
~Stephen White

I thought the poem got of to a great start but kind of died down near the end, which is very unusual for your poetry. A couple of stanza's need an extra word or two but never the less a great write 5/5

I adore this...that ending is beautiful...very melancholy and yet holding so much power and depth, very intense.
Beautiful word choice, flawless flow throughout the entire poem, and by the end of the first stanza I was completely hooked.

Very thought provoking like the woman was a very bad person in life and is going to hell for the things she had done in her past 5/5