The cowboy I knew

Once upon a time many years ago
I lost my heart to a cowboy
and he never gave it back,
this is a poem for him.

He was rough and wild and crazy,
a true redneck cowboy through and through,
he'd watched and been there for me
since almost the day I was born.

No one could best him at making me mad
but then he'd smile at me and I couldn't help but laugh,
he always made me forget I mad at him
and I never knew what to expect
since he was different everyday.

He'd come to our house and talk to me,
make sure I was smiling and happy
and would never leave till I was laughing,
he helped out whenever there were things needing done
and never treated me like I was a child.

Whenever he heard that guys were hassling me
he was always ready to come and defend me,
he always made me feel like I mattered
and like I was important too,
I never thanked him for it but he made my life happy.

Then one day I woke up
and knew something was horribly wrong,
that morning I was told the news
that the man that I bounced between loving and hating
had been killed and taken from me.

The world stopped turning that day
and the ground dropped out from beneath me,
I was lost and confused but numb to the pain
I was to shocked to feel anything for days,
I just couldn't believe he was gone.

A part of me was lost that day
and I've never found it again,
it feels like I have an empty hole
that no one's been able to heal,
not even me this time
but I guess this is normal when violence strikes.

I never got to say good-bye,
he was there one day then he wasn't
but I know that he's still with me,
he watches over me when I'm lonely
and checks in on me from time to time.

He may be gone and I miss him so much
but I know he's in a better place
and through this letter I'm writing to him
I'm passing a memory of him on to you
to help keep him alive that way.

This is the time I remember him most
because this is the time I last got to spend with him,
he'll never die as long as he's in my heart
and thats where he'll always stay.

***********************************************
I know that this one may have an odd flow to it and it's actually kinda a story put to verse but it's dedicated to a man that was and still is very dear me that was more of a brother to me when I was really little then most of my real brothers and who was killed in 2003 ^_^ I still love you Shawn and you still live on in our thoughts and hearts and always will ^_^