Merry Go Round.

by Teria   Jul 27, 2007


Merry Go Round.

In a whirlwind of fantasies only one becomes true,
as so patiently I await the day I get to marry you.
Forever and a nightmare planted upon elm street,
lies the murdered bodies of which your only defeat.
And, ignorance is bliss when you don't have a clue,
the reason you're in love with me until I'm in love with you.

But, my mind is on vacation not keeping track of time,
and your love is seeping in this merry go round soul of mine.
Without notice of what's been done, I turn the other way..
Wanting answers to reasons I didn't have to give away.
Perhaps this little torture is a bit out of line,
but if you only knew your heart is really mine.

I can be played just to play again, I'm no feeble minded child.
I can handle myself and I can handle you, for your pride is defiled.
You see the truth that lingers deep within my weary soul,
can see through the fog and your heart of which isn't whole.
For, the way you've let it out is a little bit wild,
and the way you're holding it in proves your minds defiled.

I'm winning this game with my arms tied behind my back,
and as I said before, with vacation, there's a lot I lack.
Such as the right state of mind, of which you're taking over..
But, trust me when I say that this game of yours is over.
For, I've said it a million times and there's nothing I take back.
So, when I say it's over there's nothing I shall lack.

- - - - -
Title given by Kenneth. xD

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Brilliant, i really liked the rhyming and the natural effortless flow that you managed to create.
    A perfect read, well written.
    love always, Tara-Kay
    x

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I really like this. In a way some parts were amusing, and others intriguing.

    "I can be played just to play again, I'm no feeble minded child.
    I can handle myself and I can handle you, for your pride is defiled.
    You see the truth that lingers deep within my weary soul,
    can see through the fog and your heart of which isn't whole.
    For, the way you've let it out is a tad bit wild,
    and the way you're holding it in proves your minds defiled. "

    ^^ I liked this stanza, however, you used 'defiled' twice at the end of two different lines and I just didn't like that. I like lots of variety when it comes to words, and I think you could have used a different word in one of those places.

    Nevertheless, it was a wonderful read.

  • 16 years ago

    by Serina the Squid

    The last four lines were the best. The poem confused me (but I'm a bit tired at the moment lol) but it was good. If you read it over and change the tense of a few words, maybe take out a few, like the word 'which' in, I think, the third line it would flow a lot better, but with some toying that's easily done. A good poem, I get feelings of anger from it. 4/5, but I'm a harsh rater.

  • 16 years ago

    by KeyxMashingxParody

    Loved it, flawless. another 5/5 from me!

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    "And, ignorance is bliss when you don't have a clue,"
    ^I liked that line. Sometimes, ignorance is actually good. =]

    "the truth that lingers deep within my weary soul,"
    ^Dead right, m'dear. In every soul there is an inherent truth waiting to be extracted. As I understood this passage, the subject seems to have a psychic insight. Sort of.

    "I'm winning this game with my arms tied behind my back,"
    ^This line amused me; it sounded humorously ironic.

    It's odd to note how the subject thinks she's dominant over her alleged lover when, in fact, her lover is governing over her to begin with. Well. Kind of. Whether it was intended by the author or not, the subject was rather cynical in character. I liked that. And I further liked the seeming battle in their minds. If I got the wrong idea, shhh!

    There was a minor issue with the flow. It seemed weak and fragile on the whole. I'd suggest you tighten-up the lines to enhance it.

    Still, I had enjoyed my time reading this remarkable work. Thanks for sharing, m'dear. :) ~Marian

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