One Last Tear Shall Fall.

by ABake   Aug 8, 2007


Tossing and turning, all through the night.
Tears strolling down my cheeks,
Wishing I wouldn't have caused that last fight..

So I stop to think.....

But I soon give up, and continued to cry.
My thoughts are too crowded.
My knees to weak, my eyes too dry..

So I wish.....

I wish we were together, and that you were still mine.
So many wishes I know will never come true.
Last time they did, but not this time..

So I remember.....

All the memories we have, savor every little smile.
All the laughs, and good times.
How many months, you made my life worth while..

So I close my eyes.....

I hold that bear oh so tight, and one last tear shall fall.
As I slip into an unpeaceful sleep,
I hope you know no matter what, I gave you my all..

::This poem took quite a bit of time to write. It was also very painful to write. So I hope you enjoy::

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    It was a very different structure, and I'm glad to see poets reaching out for something outside their comfort zone. You did a nice job expressing your painful emotions. I like how you said you would have an 'unpeaceful sleep.' You worded that well!
    Charisma*

  • 16 years ago

    by Gem

    Excellent poem Amber
    You've put a lot of emotion into this and it really shows.
    The imagery and forlorness really spoke to the reader (in this case, me! lol)
    Well done
    5/5
    *Gem*

  • 16 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    Hey amber..it was a real sad masterpiece..I loved the apart lines from stanzas..It made the poem effective

    My fave lines are;

    So I wish.....

    I wish we were together, and that you were still mine.
    So many wishes I know will never come true.
    Last time they did, but not this time..

    Good job,
    Take care
    Laura

  • 16 years ago

    by Prophecies In Kodak

    The rhyme scheme threw me off a little bit. But overall, the concept was nicely done and the vocabulary was relaxed, yet not vague. The form as well was sketchy, try next time to maybe fill it in a little more? It left me with only a little taste, I didn't see or feel the amount I'd wished.
    Over all though, aside from that criticism, the poem was nicely done.
    Keep the writing up. You have extreme potential, dollface.

    -Isaac
    (Ian)

  • 16 years ago

    by JodiieBaybeh

    Wow amazing poem and you can really tell it was painful to write just by reading it it had so much emotions in it don't know what to say about it really ..it was great keep up the good work x

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