Those thoughts i cannot ignore

The days are blurring
my speech is slurring
i felt this way before
those thoughts i cannot ignore
keep popping in my head
assuring me i should be dead
when i try to block them out
it is then they seem to scream and shout
as i sit alone asunder
thats when they all begin to blunder
blocking out all sanity
why cann't i just be me?