Twisted Mind.

by Teria   Sep 20, 2007


Beware thy follower of thy awful mess,
that's laid upon your colored doorstep.
With minds made up, that ought've not lost
the dreams once held, burdened by cost.

And, though thy mind of selfish rubble
lies beneath thy horrible trouble..
the feelings of hope that mind my soul,
have created a path of purety and gold.

With thy life you've left to me,
I ought not fear what that might be.
A dream made once, fulfilled by twice..
has ruined thy awful twisted mind.

Though no sense has come from this,
with horrid english and horrid lisp..
I ask my soul to find the way
in the world of trouble gone astray.

- - - -
It's meant to be written this way. There are mistakes and parts that do not make sense, but that is how it is suppose to be written. [[From a 'twisted mind']]

Hopefully you get the point, though.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenna

    It did go perfectly together...it was full of emotion and it was just perfect all together. it had a powerful message, i loved it...keep it up! you got a 5/5 coming from me!
    Great Job!

    Jenna

  • 16 years ago

    by Lisa

    It all went together very well, it made perfect sense if you looked at it the right way. Great job 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Veamm

    Excellent!

    ok, to be honest im not that good at giving comments to others, im much of a reader, well exactly as you had say, i don't really get the picture but some lines were great and the ideas are well written..it expresses much emotions and this piece is powerful

    Keep it up

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    I agree with the above comment that you ended this poem perfectly! It was really well done, and welcome back to the site. It's a good piece with good flow and rhyme.
    Nice job!
    Charisma*

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Oh. Wow.
    I love this. Absolutely magnificent.
    You're flow was flawless, the wording was great [Although, honestly-- I had trouble understanding some parts. Lol.] , & it was unique. It wasn't cliche & I can't thank you enough for that. :)

    "Though no sense has come from this,
    with horrid english and horrid lisp..
    I ask my soul to find the way
    in the world of trouble gone astray."

    ^ Fabulous job. You ended the poem perfectly. :) 5.5 Keep writing.

    --- Stephanie Lynn .+.

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