Dirtied Up Memories

With sincerity you sit there and try to tell me,
That you`ll try all that you can possibly do,
To put that first love feeling back into me,
Because the butterflies in my stomach have stopped.
Little did you know, your imagery doesn`t fit;
`Cuz they`re still there, they just refuse to fly;
In fear of getting their wings ripped off.
So I hang my head up high in the tattered clouds,
Watching as the rainbows explode into grey,
And as adrenaline flows into my veins,
I gain the nerve to tell you that it`s over.
All along I was told that I was better than this,
That I was putting myself through so much,
But the fake smiles took a hold of me,
And erased what little rationality I had left.
My guilty conscience still sings loud in my head,
With all the lines you`ve ever used on me,
But if I argue just loud enough to cover them,
I find that I can throw away all we used to have.
`Cuz you see, my intoxicated thoughts meddle,
In what sobriety I`ve been able to hold on to,
And with the state of mind I`m in tonight,
It`s gonna be hard for any thoughts to stop me.
I tore all of your pictures off of my wall,
Lit them up in flames, laughing as you burnt;
I ripped up all of the words you ever wrote,
Watching as two years went to shame.
Standing in the debris of my built up misery,
I finally rose just high enough to realize,
That dirtied up memories don`t mean a thing,
When there`s so much more out there for me.

- Jenna Elphick
October 4, 2007