Tattered Hearts

I harbor deep within a hidden hatred . . .
For my self
I am so consumed by sorrow that I am sickened by it
I find myself so wrapped up in the memories
long gone
how is it that one heart can feel . . .
so many emotions . . . buried by indifference
cast aside in malcontent
I dream of things best left forgotten
I recall the pain, the heartache
the courage it took to pick up the pieces
so many pieces
so many tattered hearts
I ask myself, has your heart mended
out of the need to move on
the answer
remains the same
no.
I hold deep within a secret fear
I fear weakness, being thought weak
LOOK AT ME!
Do I seem weakened by the past
the life I left behind
It took everything I had to walk away
and every day, it takes more for me to stay
the private tears
the smothered cries
its so hard now to discern truth from lies
this hatred eats away
at what is left of this tattered heart.