You can never know me

Past should be in the past forever
don't let it change What we have together
because nothing and no one can change my mind
i want to be yours till the end of time
together forever that's what you said
baby i just wish i was dead
with slits on my wrists and a bullet in my chest
you have to know it's for the best
you couldn't love me if you knew me for real
you'll never understand the confusion i feel
everyday i am told to change for someone
until i just f* * * it all and don't care about anyone
and you'll never know it, you'll never see
you'll never accept the real me
if you knew my whole past, if you knew the truth
boy I'll never tell you i don't need the proof
i just know in my heart that you would;d leave
and i will lie on the ground as my wrists bleed
I'm living in a lie, in a fantasy land
where I'm worth the love of my fantasy man
and dream's always crumble fall to the ground
you have to wake up, or that's what I've found
so when i wake up What will i do?
facing reality of not having you
when you leave like i know you will
I'll take the knife and kill
I'll watch the cuts open staining my wrist
how far i would fall to hold onto your kiss
but i want to go now before it's too late
while your voice is still filled with love and not hate
so I'm going to leave and when i do
please know that i died loving you......