How long

by cicek   Jan 31, 2008


I dont know what to think or even to say.
I still cant see how you want to stay.

I\'m so happy that we can still be together and i hope with all my heart it will be forever.
The quetion though that still stands in our hearts is how long can we keep doing this, with us being apart.
The only thing that could keep us from spliting forshure is bringing a baby girl or baby boy into this world,
You asked me this question and I answered it with the full truth,and I hope some day soon, that it will come true.
Some people say it is foolishto think this way so early but when you know your inlove there\'s no problem to think this way at all.
so far now we wait and just hang on with what we got and hope some day that we wont be apart.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    After all one gets a reason to live and die for each other .. Tatz love, Thatz love........ Marvellous

  • 16 years ago

    by jayson salvador

    Very nice. relates to a lot of people. keep up the good work.

  • 16 years ago

    by Alvaro

    =] last 4 lines made me chuckle a bit.. for how true it is and how it plays a role in my life so far.. thank you.. for capturing such a feeling in simple words, thank you 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, ok, first of all the structure is horrible, it's like you're writting a paragraph. Perhaps making it into stanzas would be a major help.

    For example take,

    "I dont know what to think or even to say.
    I still cant see how you want to stay.

    I'm so happy that we can still be together and i hope with all my heart it will be forever."

    and change it to this:

    I don't know what to think,
    Or even what to say.
    And I still can't see,
    How you want to stay.

    I am extreamly happy,
    We still can be together.
    And I hope with all my heart,
    It will be forever.

    Also the grammer and puncuation has to be fixed here and there. For example, "dont" should be, "don't" and "quetion" should be, "question" ..... etc.

    With a little bit of structure, grammer and puncuation, this can be an excellent write from you, but at the moment I feel it is just good, but not great.

    Keep up the good work!!! I do like the way you worded it, it has good flow, and can be excellent with a few additions like I stated above.

    Peace, Joe

  • 16 years ago

    by Bryce

    To tell you the truth, I likes this one.
    I really don't like long poems, but i enjoyed this one.
    Bryce

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