Where i stood

by kevin Boundy AKA the ghost   Feb 1, 2008


I step out of the moment
To reflect on what I've done
This makes no sense
In the light of the sun

We are separating because
You say I don't love you enough
When the truth is the past few weeks
Things have been kind of rough

The moment in my head
Is frozen on your face
I admire your beauty
And cherish your embrace

I guess the truth is
I love you more then i really should
It's to hard to see another guy
Try to stand where i stood

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by RobinAnn13

    This poem was a lot better than the other one, I think. It flowed better and the storyline was once again beautiful. My favorite stanza was the 3rd one. The only part that stands out at me as "needs fixing" are the 2 lines

    "This makes no sense
    In the light of the sun"

    It sounds like you just used in the light of the sun as a filler so it would rhyme. It's a slightly confusing word choice. I would suggest something more like:
    I step out of the moment
    To reflect on what I've done
    This makes no sense
    Why did you run?

    or something like that. Just a suggestion.. <3

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