Weekly contest 12 August 2019

  • Larry Chamberlin
    4 years ago

    Again, the judges liked the roiling dark-side. Ben continues his paean to grief and self-deprecation; Rania uniquely blames a mysterious other for all bad (and even good) in her world and yet leaves room to wonder whether it is truly another; new-comer PoMo-re wins the tie break from Luce with his snapshot of the wanderer in search of a - following(?); Luce’s own work not so subtly decries the mass shootings.

    Thank you judges for your time and effort.

    Front page:
    Daffodils In Broken Skin by Ben Pickard points 10+10 = 20
    A New Poem by Rania Moallem points 7+7+4 = 18
    He Sojourns by PoMo-re [tie break] points 7+7+tb = 14

    Honorably mentioned:
    Shoot (random thoughts) by Everlasting points 10+4 = 14
    The Aftermath of Standing Still by Elizabeth points 10
    Berserk (Collaboration With Daniel) by nourayasmine points 10
    debridement by hiraeth points 4+4 = 8
    When Tomorrow Comes (sonnet) by Kitty Cat Lady points 7
    Becoming my enemy by Rey Severs points 4

    Comments

    Daffodils In Broken Skin by Ben Pickard Points: 10
    Comments
    This is a dark and deeply emotional view into the mind of someone frustrated and angry. When things are not going as they should its is easy to feel frustrated and upset but this poem screams of an internal battle of self condemnation Of frustration that nothing has gone the way it was envisioned. This emotional portrayal of life's disappointment anger and frustration. As if all effort has been to no avail. It concludes with the destruction of all that has been built and grown. How many times does an artist destroy his work because it is not good enough in his/her eyes but in doing so how many masterpieces have disappeared forever? I felt that this poem was so vividly written that it portrayed more
    than destroying an artistic creation but meant instead the destruction of everything

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    Daffodils In Broken Skin by Ben Pickard 10 Points
    Ben’s first poem this week has masterful use of rhyme and meter. Language wise, this narrator seems to be full of questions without answers, and in keeping with a few of the poems’ theme this week of wounds, this persona wrestles with their own, doubting who they are, and what they have become. Excellent

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    A new poem by Rania 7 Points
    Rania's poem this week is so relatable. A love that's no longer there but the pain and hurt are. So when anything goes wrong you have someone to blame. It fuels your fire, it gets you through the day. It's not a forever thing but it's all part of the healing process. You gotta let them go before you can move on. I found myself nodding in agreement while I read this, well done Rania!

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    A new poem by Rania 7 Points
    Rania has an innate ability to showcase her emotions and feelings so vividly in her poetry. This was no exception. I found the bitterness in the repetition overwhelmingly effective, and honest. The memory will not leave, and all the poetry is doing is giving some semblance of catharsis, yet keeping it alive simultaneously, immortalizing the blame, and anger.

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    A new poem by Rania 4 Points
    What I like about this is how it flows smoothly with the thoughts. Like a breath of air you wanted to let out. Though indirectly it feels like you are missing the person, the person comes up in your thought every part of the day. Even in happy times, like you are wanting to share them.
    Yet another “new poem” written because of you and not for you.

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    He Sojourns by PoMo-r 7 Points
    Hauntingly vague this poem elicits the same feeling as Slouching Toward Bethlehem, by W B Yeats. There is a distinct, though perhaps unintentional, menace from this 'social nomad' (rough beast that he is) who may never find his own tribe; it is certain that the eccentric center in which he settles is not the norm.

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    He Sojourns by PoMo-r 7 Points
    Personally, I have connected with the poem. A wanderer that can fit anywhere, can swim with the tide. A wanderer who is searching for the right place to become a part of rather than fitting in. Or maybe a wanderer who is looking for the right person. The one who will understand us, who will like us as who we are, and who together they become a home.
    Short poem but written so beautifully!

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    Shoot ( random thoughts) by Everlasting 10 Points
    I don’t want to ruin the poem by a long dissecting comment!! The poem has a clear message, not covered up by metaphors and similes. Just brings up the sad reality, nothing done to change it. The ending grasps the bottled up emotions, and toss them out. The poem is written so cleverly. This is more than random thoughts!

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    Shoot ( random thoughts) by Everlasting 4 Points
    Straight from the headlines the one word is repeated like multiple rounds from a magazine. The colorful images stranded between shots enhance the staccato mentality, the randomness of the acts.

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    The Aftermath of Standing Still by Elizabeth 10 Points
    Recovery from rape is a lifelong journey. The violence is not merely to the body but to the most fragile aspect of innocence. Guilt, rage, helplessness are all portrayed here fulsomely and painfully. The allusions to being torn apart by wild animals is particularly effective.

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    Berserk (Collaboration with Daniel) by Nourayasmine 10 Points
    I for one hope these collaborations between these writers become a regular occurrence. This piece is seamless in its write. You can't tell when one ends and the other starts. The content is a hard read. It portrays the victim and what goes through a person's mind being in an abusive relationship. People can never understand how a person can stay in these relationships but as these two show it's complicated. So many times the victim.starts believing they caused the rage and their partner really does love them. It's an awful situation to be in. Daniel and Noura really brought it home with this collaboration. Well.done you two!

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    Debridement by Hiraeth 4 Points
    To take the dead and festered skin and excise that away is a way that start new growth. In this poem Hiraeth states it might be a way to start something fresh and beautiful even if it's only in the outside. He holds out hope that by doing this it might jump start the positive. He takes a word that usually means a medical procedure and turned it into this creative piece. A thought provoking read!

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    Debridement by Hiraeth 4 Points
    Whilst the last two stanzas border ever so slightly on cliche, and the repetition of ‘wound’ is notable, the poet creates a wonderfully descriptive piece of poetry, rich in imagery noting the aftermath of something caused by addiction, or self destruction. A clever poem.

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    When Tomorrow Comes (sonnet) by Kitty Cat Lady 7 Points
    Comments
    This poem is very emotional - To me spoke of a relationship in turmoil. Perhaps a betrayal of trust. The person seems tied in an emotional struggle unsure of what is true or false in their relationship. The mind is seeking answers where there seems none. "You are everywhere but nowhere near" Is the feeling you get when a loved one is far away. It reinforces that feeling of loss. The last line a heart breaking plea for their heartache to end. A great example of the internal emotional struggles of love gone wrong.

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    Becoming my enemy by Rey Severs 4 Points
    Comments
    An intense poem dripping with an angry dark warning to a love interest who has hurt them badly. It felt like their love interest had persistently played games with their heart and treated them like a fool and finally pushed them beyond their limits. An enjoyable well rhymed emotional message that would work for anyone who has ever had their heart deliberately played with or crushed by another.

  • Milly Hayward
    4 years ago

    Congratulations Ben, Rania and PoMo-re on your well deserved wins this week and to Everlasting, Elizabeth, Daniel, Hiraeth, Kittycat and Ray Severs for your HM's. Thanks to Larry for collating and to all the Judges who give up their time to do the judging each week to make the competition possible. Best wishes Milly x

  • Everlasting
    4 years ago

    I don’t know if it’s all the hormonal changes my body is going through (currently pregnant with my second baby) but I am reading ALL the comments from the judges and I am teary. I feel overwhelmed with emotion. Really, thank you so much for your comments. I couldn’t read all the poems in nomination list this week but I read some and they were all good. Tough choices.

    Thank you once again.

    And Larry, what an opening. I love how you always deliver the weekly contests.

    Congratulations winners and Hm’s.

  • Meena Krish replied to Everlasting
    4 years ago

    Congrats winners and all those who got a HM.
    Thank you judges for your time and effort and thank you Larry for hosting

  • Brenda
    4 years ago

    Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! I don't envy the judges, so many amazing poems to have to narrow down to just three. Larry, thank you for hosting. And always a big thank you to the judges, appreciate you all!

  • D.
    4 years ago

    Congratulations to the winners and HMs! Some really great poetry this week! Thank you too, judge for the comment on Noura and I’s poem. :)

  • prasanna
    4 years ago, updated 4 years ago

    Congrats to all the winners, and those who picked up a HM!

    Thank you Larry for hosting!

    Thank you judges for your comments, and all your hard work :)

  • Poet on the Piano
    4 years ago

    Wonderful work! Congrats to all. Many thanks and much love to our judges and to Larry, for hosting!

  • Sunshine
    4 years ago

    Thank you for your comments judges, I have deeply appreciated every word. Thank you for nominating my poem Hellon.

    Congrats Ben for such a powerful piece and Pomo for such a start, welcome on-board!

    Great HMs and great work Larry as always very impressive intro.

  • Kitty Cat Lady
    4 years ago

    Congrats to all worthy winners, HMs and nominees. Huge thanks to Milly for nominating mine and to the judge for their lovely comments and points, I'm very grateful. Thanks also to the judges and mods for their time :-) x
    =^.^=

  • Ben Pickard
    4 years ago

    Well done to everyone highlighted this week and a huge thank you to the judges whose time is never taken for granted. Thank you, too, to Larry.

    All the best