on my soul,
your heart took mine.
like an unsaddled horse,
our love frolics in these fields
of unbridled energy as
we find our beings woven within
the flowing mane of every restless steed
*Etheree is a 10 line poem with a syllable count of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 per line.
**Im the worst at titles so any suggestions are welcome.
This piece has some majestic qualities to it. I can't describe what it is that's creating such a beautiful scene (apart from the imagery of course) but I feel like this is one of those descriptions of love that actually is hitting the idea of what love can be and what love can do to you.
Hoof prints on the soul is unusual but an amazing description, for that I give you a massive high 5.
You're description is very comforting, the words like flowing, unbridled, frolics and fields give me this de-ja-vu feeling. It's like comfort in some place that I haven't been, comfort in your feelings.
The word energy surprised me, I feel like it's so powerful against such an elegant scene. Don't get me wrong I liked it, but if you notice it's completely different amongst the rest of the words. Like an apple amongst oranges.
Beautiful poem, well done on creating an amazing etheree, I feel this is the best one I've read in years.
6 years ago
by Tara Kay
The title is beautiful Holly, such great creativity.
Etheree's are fantastic, and this is done beautifully, I am amazed by the gracious way you penned this, so poetic and gracious, you are definately fanatstic
I really liked the flow of this poem, it was so beautiful and through the whole poem I got the feeling that for a long time you were restless, and that everyone at some point does get restless, but being able to be together infinitely and timelessly is enchanting.
Loved the title, like everyone else said, it captured so much essence of this poem! It had wonderful soul, especially while writing an etheree, you just take on this heavenly prompt: two restless wild soul finally weaving together into one being that lives and loves as one.
Keep it up :)
6 years ago
I dub you the Queen of Etheree's. Every time you write one, I swear it's majestic and beautiful. I feel these are really hard to write, as you have such a strong restriction on words. You took the idea and went with it and kept it strong throughout the poem in a way I just can't do.. so I definitely admire you for doing that!
I like the use of unbridled, not something you often see in poetry, which is odd, because it seems so poetic to me, lol.
I really like your title (you usually have good ones, just so you know). I think this one was interesting and probably made readers wonder what you were really going to say. I really think it went perfect with the poem and I don't think you should change it at all! :)