Abandoned

by Lioness   May 27, 2012


You left me.

My dear motivation.

You left me behind
like I was winter's breeze
and you were the summertime
heat keeping warm
without me,

and now I'm struggling
to find you again.

You've abandoned
my heart and my
path has become
unlit like my soul.

I didn't think
there was room to
fall since I was
already at rock
bottom.

I guess the ground
caved in beneath me,
and now I'm lost
in a place I should
have been able
to call my
home.

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Beautiful write.....left a lump in my throat .....i feel for you genuinely i do....we've all felt like this at sometime and you translated it masterfully ... Big loves x

  • 6 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Great wording,,great imagery but very sad poem but greatly written and I hope u do not feel this way,,cuz it is very sad,,,if so just think I've heard once,,the only way up is down,,do take care,,great poem 5/5 always

  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    My sweetest Liz,

    I feel such sadness in your words; these impatient, desperate convictions that has recently escorted every piece of yours. I feel that hunger that I myself have, deep within. Loved your piece and relate to it totally. I know that it is frustrating, but I also know that you are a strong woman who will fight, struggle and have motivation back, especially when she realises that her strength inspires hundreds or perhaps thousands of people.

    I have become a big fan of your poetry, of the way you weave your words with magic, the way you drum with my heart strings everytime you write something new. I have become addicted to your work.

    'You left me behind
    like I was winter's breeze
    and you were the summertime
    heat keeping warm
    without me,'

    I just guess that an 'as if' would've worked better than 'like'? It felt to me off the way it was put there. I don't know what made me dislike the way you made this stanza flow. I have re-written it and will show you it but if you like it this way then never mind me babbling:

    'You left me behind
    as if I were a Winter, breezing
    and you were summertime
    heat; keeping warm
    without me,'
    - - -

    That would be my only critique here. I loved the falling part and the ending was just awesome! I apologise I am not going to talk much here since I am on my phone and my fingernails are bugging me while writing lol I just wanted to say that I love you & your work!

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Liz-
    I know I sound like a broken record, but I have to say I feel like we are long lost twins....sighs-
    For you always seem to write the thoughts that I have felt... I feel you in this piece...

    This poem just flows.. and it truly brings out your heart and within the details of your thoughts and elegantly displays them into a beautiful poem...

    Very Nice Liz-

  • 6 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Firstly, thank you for your comment on my poem, hope you all the best with what you are going through :)
    I have to agree with Jenni. Upon reading the title, my first thought was that this would be about someone leaving you, instead of 'something'. However, that was not the case and this is rather unique and new to me. Motivation is becoming harder to find these days, and a lack of motivation makes us uninspired and as writers, that's one of the worst things that could happen. Still, writing about that is so refreshing and inspiring.
    I enjoyed the simile with winter's breeze; I just love Winter in poetry. And the connection and metaphor with summertime was just lovely.
    The ending was unexpected for me. It was so well-written and heart-breaking for me. I know you might not mean it literally here, but I can relate to it somehow. Having an unstable life; moving from one place to another in just a few months without having connected with the place is depressing. Well, sorry for rambling, but I just love this piece and how it is so relatable. How it is open for interpretation whether literally, figuratively or metaphorically was just amazing. Keep writing!
    -X