Frozen Lips

by Lioness   Jun 28, 2012


Your lips are frozen
like standing time between
the living and the dead,

but your heart is filled
with fire that it
prevents me from getting
too close,

even though I feel your
power pulling me in.

You mix my emotions like
a fiery cauldron only to use
the toxic potion to your advantage,
so my willpower becomes weakened,

even just by your gaze.

I would never use the word
enchanted because
that word holds such beauty,

and there is nothing beautiful
about kissing your frozen lips
or feeling your scorched heart
upon mine.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Ruby Red Memories

    Liz, I loved the imagery in this. You really created a picture in my mind. This is a very powerful write. I loved how you used simple words yet managed to have a deep impact on the reader. I found this piece to be very profound and it cuts deep into the reader.

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    How powerful and dark these images are, these seemingly chaotic feelings that you feel, as if you are so pulled in by him, but not yet that close to his heart.

    "but your heart is filled
    with fire that it
    prevents me from getting
    too close,

    even though I feel your
    power pulling me in."

    Here, my only suggestion would be to remove the "it" in the first stanza after "that", I think it reads better and more smoothly without it. Or keeping the "it", I read the first stanza with a comma after fire or some type of punctuation. Just my opinion, this is your poem and I understand using the "it" to make it more clearly what is preventing you. :)
    I love how you crafted these words into such a provoking poem, this person is such a mystery yet the way you describe them is personal in a way, intimate to you, yet it is not how you want to live, because you can't call him or this love you have pure and beautiful. The depth behind it seems like his heart has twisted you, I think. I loved how you mixed so many real feelings here, some seem so raw and depressed, it creates images that the reader is caught pondering...

    Well-penned, awesome job!!!

  • 5 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    You mix my emotions like
    a fiery cauldron only to use
    the toxic potion to your advantage,
    so my willpower becomes weakened,
    ...
    Amazing, very well written, really loved this

  • 5 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This was such a deep poem I looked the way you said
    You would use the word enchanted but that beautiful thought that was beautiful ... The tittle was fresh never seen it before and your description was perfect defently a favourite of mine I'm adding it to my favourites :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Amazing poem

    I really like how you made the connection with the lips and heart, because thats what is suppose to happen when you kiss someone so I like how you said frozen lips instead of frozen heart. . . ofcourse in this poem you described it as a "scorched heart" preventing that someone from showing emotion in a kiss making them frozen. . .

    You mix my emotions like
    a fiery cauldron only to use
    the toxic potion to your advantage,
    so my willpower becomes weakened,

    This part of the poem really put this poem together , I like the mention of mixing your emotions. . . and this stanza is just brilliant.. Nice work on this poem :)

    5/5