The billabong booms with the kind of
blokes and bush rangers that rest bundy
on their bellies and sleep on swags with their
stoked sheilas. I have met a lot of Bogans
camping in my time, watched as they chased
wombats in their sheep skin ugg boots and
laughed at sun bleached blondes boogie boardin'
with stubbies held tightly in their
I had never met a pirate before but my new
neighbour calls me matey, borrowed my tiny
tinny and set sail on what he thinks is the Great
"fishface" sea. I'm not sure if he knows this but
he has split personality disorder. Yesterday he
was a poet from Canada, borrowed a pen
and paper, oh and a claw hammer,
a fishing reel... some barbecued snapper...
and today he stole my treasured makeup
so I thought he was into glamour, that was
until I saw his Pirates of the Caribbean face
Prompt: Your neighbor: The neighbor who keeps having to borrow your tools, food, extension cords, etc
1. Split personality
2. Watch your treasure, this person may take it
Congrats on the win Mell!!! So imaginative and out-of-the-box... especially with the clever Aussie language as mentioned, which definitely added style to this piece!
5 years ago
This is just so darn Australian, it kills me and cracks me up, bahahah. This is SO unlike your typical poetry and maybe thats why I love it. Shows your awesomely humorous and creative side, with branching out using new ideas.. like all the alliteration. It still has it's typical Melpo twist and style, but this was seriously so darn funny. I knew you were having a hard time writing this one, but I think you really did an awesome job at the prompt!
There so much humour in this poem Mel that I'm just cracking up laughing right now. I have to wonder if most will know what bundy. shielas and stubbies mean to us aussies but...you have painted the perfect picture of what a camping weekend in our part of the world is like...not forgetting the uggs....they're a given on a camping trip haha!!!
The neighbour you talk about is just a character in his own right and I think you were very ladylike (at lease in this poem) in how you handled him....B***** Off is what most would have told him I think haha!!!
Really loved the laid back approach with this one....onyae mate!
* I think the first line in your second stanza should be a pirate?
Oh Mel, right away when I read this I was thinking this seems to be written in your style!
This poem is very animated. I'd actually never heard of a billabong before so I had to look that up and I like how you immediately set the atmosphere very memorably with the carefree campers..... this alliteration caught my eye as well:
"sun bleached blondes boogie boardin'"
Definitely made me think of southern, rural areas out in the wild.
Oh my goodness, that second stanza had so much personality and spark to it, it made me smile how well you paint this character who is your new neighbor. Was not expecting the split personality disorder, that is sad and very innocent... how he has those two distinct identities. He has no control over them which is heart-breaking but you really brought his "spunk" into this, that he is strange at first sight and a bit like you'll tolerate him.
Then, I loved how you went on and on with the list... like you thought it would only be a few items but realized how much he had taken, finally revealing his not so innocent side. I liked the quirkiness if you can say of this line:
"and today he stole my treasured makeup
so I thought he was into glamour,"
- You're still trying to pinpoint what he's like and get used to his habits... but none of that matters since he is only concerned with taking "treasures". This also ties in with the ending lines as it made me think of Jack Sparrow's makeup and the heavy eyeliner lol
And the ending made me do a double take. I absolutely love Pirates and to think of a person having that kind of face, like they are returning, going away from the land, just made such a fantastic ending.
Such a colorful piece, you rocked this camping challenge!!!