Somewhere near the sea

by The Princess   Aug 21, 2014

We were 5 and 7
when mornings tasted
like maple syrup

and we tried to catch
the sun in cookie jars.

Now, my diet is sugar-free,
yet I still drag my feet every
morning and you

learnt to carry aspirin
instead of lemon drops.

we meet every now and then.

we meet every now and then
I order coffee with low fat milk
as I wait for you to grab a newspaper
and sit purse-mouthed, frowning down
at each and every single headline.

You look like father,
more than he does, these days.

He's been smoking again.
He's been drinking again.

And mom has been swearing
for the past 9 years
that she's had

Outside, Cairo is little but noise
and movement in equal portions
overflowing the city brim.

Funny. Remember how we used to dream
of living on the coast? Forget about
Living. I'd like to die..

I'd like to die somewhere
near the sea


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    I became so engrossed in this poem, especially with how you wove your family into this and told a story, gave voice to those characters that I do not know of, who are complete strangers to me. The opening line is sweet, innocent, and invites imagination in. Just imagining catching the sun in cookie jars makes me smile! Then, there is a turn now to the present, and almost a subtle transition of tone, one of sadness maybe but of an attitude that has become hopeless instead of carefree, like you were as a child. I like how you keep the connection with the candies by mentioning this person, who I assume is your brother, who now has to take medication and who may deal with stresses. My one suggestion is to not repeat "we meet every now and then" right before the "I order coffee" as I feel it breaks the flow and is not needed. The mention of your father, and how there is a certain desolate look in his eye, and maybe dread, is very vivid here. I feel a sadness and loss of hope when you hint that your mother and father still have not embraced life, or have not found true happiness, simply going through the motions so to speak. You give a lot of clues in this piece without it being overbearing or meaningless. It certainly adds to the atmosphere, especially mentioning Cairo and the city life you witness each day. There is almost bitterness in the end, that you cannot return to your childhood, cannot fulfill those wishes of living on the coast. Instead, you have lost your desire to live, as if where you live now will never fill you the way you wanted for yourself and your brother. A sad ending indeed, that the only place of rest will be in the peaceful place you dreamed of in youth. Moving piece. (7)

  • 4 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    Excellent !!! It touched my heart and soul :/

  • 4 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    Excellent !!! It touched my heart and soul :/

  • 4 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    How are you so flawlessly brilliant

  • 4 years ago

    by Karla

    Powerful piece!Take care!