The 13 Imitations of Darkness

I've always feared darkness,
but not because of what's lurking
where I can't see.
It was because darkness
always simulated
what I hid in my heart.

Darkness is existent in my every thought,
every breath, every move.
Darkness is always there waiting,
waiting for me to make a mistake
so she can swallow me.

I can say that
it's not darkness that I feared,
but what darkness stood for.
Darkness stood for the cliff
at the edge of my sanity.
Darkness stood for the loss
of interest in everything.
Darkness stood for every moment
when I had no control over myself.

I've always feared darkness,
even though at times darkness
was the only thing that
kept me from giving in
to the darkness in myself.
So I fear not darkness for what it is,
but I fear her for what she meant to me.