A [Promising] Failure (Prose)

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Jul 12, 2016

A depressing caricature
of the way I thought my future would be,
the present likes to mock me
as I walk down its hallways with my head down.
A lofty hope
that was only ever meant to come crashing to the ground.
I pride myself in my resilience,
but times are getting tough
and lying to myself is getting harder.

What keeps me walking like no one is watching
is knowing the universe doesn't care about me.
It would be another heavy weight on my shoulders
-a pressure I'm not sure I could deal with right now-
to know the universe is tracking, and critiquing,
my every step
It's hard enough judging myself and hating
my every step
Daresay I'd like to give them back,
reverse all these jaunts down daunting hallways,
aware of the ever-present eyes following
my every step

A [promising] failure,
I see photographs of potential hanging,
stories that could have been but never were.
Lethargy is the enemy,
fear is my friend.
I always hold it closest to my heart,
despite insisting I am afraid of nothing;
but times are getting tough
and lying to myself is getting harder.

Everyone in the universe doesn't exist in this hallway.
I've isolated myself at a depth to which no soul can travel,
and I continue
to travel



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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Kelly Wölfin

    As always, you touch my heart and speak to my soul. I watched every movement in this play out and it made it want to reach out and hold you until you realize what I already know... you are amazingly beautiful and wonderfully stronger than you realize. ?????

  • 2 years ago

    by Vicente

    The clear expression of the feeling of having no control is well put. When you say that you see photographs of potential hanging it makes me wonder why you never tried to achieve them. Also, why are you afraid of what may or may not be? You're not isolated like you believe that you are. At times we all feel that the Universe is against us, or at the least trying us a little too hard. Yet we are never actually alone. You said, "I've isolated myself at a depth to which no soul can travel". A well written line, no doubt, but I don't find it to be true. You and I both know my stance when you say such things, but I'll leave it at that on this comment.

    All in all, a well expressed struggle. Irregular rhyming pattern, but it flows well. The mood is dark and submissive, but holds pinpoints of lights and hopefulness spread about.

    • 2 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      There's no rhyme at all, Blake, it's Prose! Also, "lethargy" is a key to answer your questions.

  • 2 years ago

    by Poetess

    I don't think it's lackluster on the imagery. The emotions definitely paint a very clear picture of this "hallway". It's sad, but I can't help but love it.

    Thanks for sharing with us!


    • 2 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for reading Liz! :-)

  • 2 years ago

    by Courtney

    The brackets "A [promising] failure," really stood out to me here. When others sit there and say, "life must be good," "You have a great future," or "You have a perfect life." Its just represents the thoughts we insert to make that statement true. What an awesome and relatable write.


  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Stephen, amazing write! It's hard not to dwell on our past failures and maybe not being in a position we thought we would at a certain junction of our lives. Small changes can make huge differences at times. Keep that in mind, nothing is too late.

    • 2 years ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      At this point in my life, whilst having a desire to travel but no ability to do so, I feel like I don't control where my hallway goes. It's a very difficult situation to grasp for someone who has such a desire to travel as myself, and my poems tend to get darker the more time I spend in one place.

      Let's hope the hallway turns into a courtyard, someday.

      I plan to reply to your message tonight!

      Thanks for always reading and being kind,

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