What a magical place this world once was to me.
As a child I saw everything that could be,
and I reveled in all of the stories I heard
as a speckle-eyed boy learning word after word.
Santa and faeries, an egg-wielding bunny,
and even a God who’d eternally love me
-- I blossomed, a flower absorbing the sun
with a glint in my eye that would soon dull to none.
For we all have that fallout as we come to terms,
while we’re learning we live in a miserable world
where there’s murder and rape
and where dreams don’t come true
… where sometimes there’s no one to love you but you.
I now saw the world in a dull shade of gray
and I shriveled my stalk as I shied from the rays
for the sun was a way to get cancer and die
where a childhood me just saw lights in the sky.
These life lessons learned shook me right to my core
as I discerned the truth of my childhood lore
-- with a dampening interest in life, now so stark,
this once magical world became dauntingly dark.
Such darkness, I've found, is a stain that will stay;
it's a lifetime of nighttime with no sun or day.
When I look in my wake, I see lies full of years,
then I peer up ahead, facing mountains of fears.
While I climb toward my death in the dark of the night
I wish so to be far down below in the light;
just a blossoming flower, absorbing the rays,
with a glint in his eye that does not go away.
No egg-wielding bunny nor Santa exists,
just the words on this page and the scars on my wrists,
just the nightmares I face every moment I wake,
just the world when I see that the magic was fake.
Stephen, please never lose the joy and wonderment that life can give us. It's too easy to sink into that gray world where you miss all the little things that when put together make a lot of beautiful moments. Hugs you-
This is excellent S and I'm glad it's been nominated. While it wouldn't be practical for us to keep the magical wonder of childhood, I agree that the harsh realities of adult life often feel dark and uncompromising. As a poem, this flows easily and hits hard which is an accomplishment for sure :-) x
S, this is such a hard hitting piece. We've all been through finding out santa and the Easter bunny isn't real but for some that's the only deciept we've have to go through for others life just gets worse and worse..
You tell a tell of a life full of darkness, a life full of unfortunately feeling like you're kept in the dark a lot of the time - I can relate to this alot.
As always, your poem just flows flawlessly.
Well done x