For You

I feel like I'm holding on,
to a broken memory.
Should I start letting go?
Of all the promise made to me?

My life went on,
but yours is frozen.
Why'd you do it?
So many paths to be chosen.

It's almost like we were alone,
in a room surrounded by mirrors.
Showing both of us everything,
memories, past, haunting fears.

You yelled at me,
"It all ends tonight!"
And I ran towards you screaming,
"Matt don't give up this fight!"

Our minds and hearts so close,
but bodies were to far.
I was ready to fly to you,
catch the next shooting star.

It's almost been two months,
still flood gates unlock,
out come bursting tears,
like that morning at 9 o'clock.

Sometimes I wonder
were you there?
Watching me fall to my knees?
Gasping for air? Crying?

Do you watch me?
See these words I write?
There my prescription, drug me.
So I'll forget that horrific night.

I'm holding on,
but letting go.
I miss the life I had,
time to take control.

I know you're there Matt,
feel the warmth wiping my tears.
When I wake up screaming, crying,
I know you chase away the nightmares.

Now I feel safe,
when I'm walking all alone.
Guardian angel by my side,
leading me safely home.

I want you to be happy Matt,
spread your wings and fly.
I promised you I'd make you proud,
I'll fulfill that till the day I die.