Giving Up

by Mandy Earl   Sep 4, 2017

I spend a lot of time
Sitting listless on this shelf
Wondering what my worth is
Confused about myself

What could I have done better?
How did I go so wrong?
Why do I have to be this way?
Where do I belong?

He and him and them
"I'm the victim in this game"
I want to keep on playing
But it's me I have to blame

I want to trust somebody
I'd like to know what's real
I want to know what love is
Please show me how to feel

But my mistakes are fatal
I've chosen far too wrong
Or maybe it's my own fault
It's been me all along?

I told him all my past hurts
My scars were all exposed
Denying what he offered
So my heart could remain closed

He worked himself in slowly
Inside my tiny cracks
Promising he's different
Soothing, "Shhh, relax."

But here is where I ponder
Just why I let him in
I knew how this would turn out
This is my own sin

I know about this cycle
I know how this one ends
Repeating all the same things
Hoping to make amends

So here is where I shut down
I cannot win this fight
Just because I want it badly
Doesn't mean I'll ever do it right.


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Latest Comments

  • 10 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Mandy, this is one fantastic piece and I am so gripped from start to end. Flawless rhyming too. Loved it.

    • 10 months ago

      by Mandy Earl

      Thank you! You're always so nice about my writing, I greatly appreciate it :D

  • 10 months ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Another brilliant write Mandy, so worthy of a nomination.

    Promising he's different
    Soothing, "Shhh, relax."

    Ooh that bit really resonated ... been there too many times.
    So, so good!

    • 10 months ago

      by Mandy Earl

      Thank you! I'm sad you've been there, but I greatly appreciate your comments :D

  • 10 months ago

    by CJ Maleney

    Fantastic poem, and I think many of us have been there

    Take care


  • 10 months ago

    by Michael

    such a wonderful rhyming piece, full of emotion in the on-going battles of life, really well put together

    Well done

    Much love
    Michael :)

  • 10 months ago

    by Lucifer

    Mandy, everything about poem is good: the flow, rhyme, the emotions.
    It's not easy to put together a shattered heart just to see it shatters once again.
    I hope and pray you find true love soon.

    And it's good to see it in the nomination list.

    • 10 months ago

      by Mandy Earl

      Thank you so much! I think this is my first nomination, wow. Yeah it takes alot to put your hand back in the fire. I appreciate the comment!

    • 10 months ago

      by Lucifer

      My best wishes are with you.

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