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by Blue Smurf Nov 20, 2017
Love, romance /
I find myself yearning,
Wishing that you were here,
A pulsing passion that is burning,
Filling my heart with fear.
It’s a painfully pleasant sensation,
Infiltrating from deep within,
Your luscious lips a big temptation,
Smoothing down my skin.
I can feel my heartbeat pounding,
Each time I’m next to you,
An emotion so astounding,
Which I’m agonizingly pushing through.
I know our story never is to be written,
Therefore I’m heartbreakingly saying goodbye,
Our love is harshly forbidden,
You are taken and so am I.
Wow! I love this ! It is beautifully written !
by Kitty Cat Lady
This is excellent! The flow, content and rhyme are spot on and the subject very relatable :-)
by Blue Smurf
Thank you for the comments, I appreciate it.
by CJ Maleney
I've kinda been out of the game for a wee while so forgive me if I get things a little wrong in anything I say.
Firstly you rhyme a little like I me (yay I'm not alone) "smiles"
Totally loved the flow of the poem and the content. For this reason I am nominating it.
If I had one criticism it would only be that the last line of the second verse (stanza) could really have benefited from the addition of one word to aid it's flow.
I don't measure and calculate, I do not word count. Sometimes you just feel and think.
All in all
Forbidden fruits - can end up tasting bitter.
A good account of a situation, put together well