The One To Blame

*This poem means a lot to me. This is how I feel because of my best friend's suicide. Please read all of it... it will be greatly appreciated*

You know that you should be the one to take the blame
You were selfish when she was screaming out your name
Now you sulk with sorrow as you remember her precious life
In the mean time, you sit there, cutting away with her knife

You knew she needed help when she showed you her cuts
She needed someone to understand without asking "why"s or "but"s
Instead you did the most selfish thing one can possibly do
You lifted up your sleeves and said "Hey, I cut too"

Best friends, together, would bleed every night
You loved to see each other bleed, but you knew it wasn't right
Almost two years later, you realize you're the one to blame
You should have helped her, but you kept everything the same

You indulged in your self-loathing, you were too blind to see
Every day you're best friend was dying, couldn't hear her plea
You never helped her, you just f u c k ed up her life
You were just something more that added to her strife

Now you stand above her grave, saying its your fault she's dead
Remembering that night you found her, covered crimson red
She told you she loved you, that you kept her alive
But now you start to wonder, why didn't she survive?

You can't help but feel guilty for the fact that she's gone
You never helped her stop her problem, instead you cheered her on
So just keep in mind that this was all because of you
And keep on cutting hoping you'll end up like her too

© Copyright 2006